One of the hardest things in the world

Back in October, I noticed my cat was breathing a little weird so I took him to the vet. They told me he had an enlarged heart and fluid in his lungs (cardiomyopathy). They said I could take him to get an ultrasound with the cardiologist to see what they could do about it even though it's not curable. Well, since I'm not made of money, I couldn't do the ultrasound but I took him to the cardiologist to see what she thought. . WIthout the ultrasound, we couldnt tell exactly what kind of cardiomyopathy he had (there are two kinds I guess) so she said she was fairly confident which kind it was and put him on meds she thought would help. So anyway, he did a total 180 and was doing great! I know I sound like a crazy cat lady and most people reading this would think "its a cat, whatever" but a little background on Oscar (aka Tuna):

• I got him my sophomore year in college. A little girl was carrying him around the store by his neck and i swear he was looking at me saying "please help me" So...I did. I bought him. he was the only kitten in the store and he was awesome
• He moved with me a total of 12 times in the past 9 years. He's a total trooper.
• He's just awesome. A gentle giant with this soft, wise spirit. He knows when I'm sad and plays hide and seek with me when we're happy.
• He greets me at the door and tells me all about his day.
• He;s not the type who will crawl onto your lap but he'll come into the room when we have people over and sit where he can see everyone. He just likes to know whats going on.
• He once drank a whole bottle of wine in college. It's a weird story.
• He partied like Keith Richards in college too and even lived with 7 others girls which makes him even more of a rockstar.
• I swear he thinks he's my boyfriend but once my husband came into the picture, it was like he knew it was okay to back off. He no longer stands over my husband at night with his ears back glaring into his soul.
• He beat diabetes and went from 25 lbs to 15. Sorry Tuna, I think it was my fault you were so huge. damn studio apartments....
• ok i could go on and on but I wont

Back to the point of this post. The last few weeks I noticed he started breathing weird again and his sides have sunken in alittle. He's getting skinnier. Yesterday I talked to my husband about what we should do and we both thought he may need to be put down in the next week or so. Well, this morning Keith came upstairs and said "im really worried about oscar" I lost it and just started balling. I know its time and this weekend we will have to take him in. This is the hardest thing. I don't want to rob him of life if he's not ready to go but i also dont want him to suffer and I know he is only going to get worse. I always said I wish he would just pack his bags and leave a note that said he went to kitty heaven if he was ready to go BUT turns out that doesnt happen. So, thats what I will be doing this weekend. I love you tuna.